How do you start your journey?
Self-love is not the desire to be prettier, skinnier or in any way better than anyone else. It is not when you do things for attention or “likes”. Self-love is not turning to others for comfort, affection, reassurance, approval, quality time and love. It is relying on yourself to fulfill these areas of your life. It is a deeper feeling of self-acceptance and having the courage to be authentic around others. When I say authentic, it is the power to come to terms with all of your unconscious thoughts. It is finding and dealing with the root cause of why you do not love yourself and creating the image of who you truly are, knowing that she is enough.
I used to feel stuck. I had everything going for me. I had graduated, an amazing family, friends, a job, I was traveling, etc, but I still felt so unhappy. Then it clicked, that you cannot rely on external factors to be happy.
True happiness comes from within and accepting yourself, getting rid of what people made you believe and knowing that the biggest reason you are on earth is to live free and find your purpose. When you love yourself, you find your values, with your values, you find your purpose – and this is when you will be living in complete joy.
How you feel on the inside reflects on every area of your life. If you don’t love yourself, you will notice every area of your life suffering. How will you accept someone loving you if you are constantly doubting yourself? How can you be the best in your job if you spend time worrying if you are good enough? How can you expect to create friendships when you lack confidence because you are scared of what others think. How can you enjoy a meal, if you are so worried about gaining weight? If you have no control over your own negative thoughts, you will probably notice you lack control in all areas of your life. If you do not love yourself and are not happy within, you will never be happy with anything. Even if it is the best thing that could have ever happened to you.
So how do I find myself and inner happiness?
- The first step to my self-love journey was deciding I want to be content. Then it was deciding on the woman I had the true potential to be and everything that I want in life. I wrote it down to remind myself of this every day.
- I had to believe that I have the potential to be whoever I want to be and making daily moves to step into this woman
- I decided on the values I wanted (for eg, trustworthy, healthy, independent) and using it to guide me to find my purpose through trusting my gut.
When you do something or make a decision that leaves you with a feeling of doubt, guilt or uncertainty, these are signs that whatever is happening is not aligning with your values and who you have the potential to be. Therefore it is leading you away from your purpose in life. When you do something or are around people that leave you feeling on a good vibration, happy and content, then these are things you need to do more of as it means it is aligning with your values, therefore, leading you to your purpose.
- Declutter your life. I made room for everything I desired. I deleted calorie apps, I deleted people from my contact list, unfollowed people on Instagram if I didn’t like their message they were putting out, resigned from a job because I believed a better one was coming, and so forth
- I got to know myself. I found new hobbies, favorite foods, favorite ways to unwind, what kind of people I like and want to surround myself with.
- I created boundaries with toxic and damaging people in my life. I limited my time with people who are negative or people that felt the need to bring me down. Most importantly – I got rid of anyone that made me feel I was hard to love
- I surrounded myself with people that made me feel alive
- I took myself out on dates and turned my phone OFF. Just sat there, sometimes journaled and embraced that time, even if it felt uncomfortable at first.
- I stepped into fear. Whenever I thought “that is out of my comfort zone” or “ I am scared of…”I just did it. That is when I grew the most and had the most wonderful time.
- Stick to your values and show up for yourself. Imagine being in a relationship with someone who always makes excuses for a date or to spend quality time with you? So why would you do that to yourself? Do that yoga, read that book and take time for yourself. Don’t cancel your self-love time
- I Invested in self-love books. Some recommendations are The Goddess Revolution, Girl Wash Your Face, The Alchemist and Ask and It is Given.
- I started being grateful for everything that happens and using the lesson in situations to help me grow into a better person.
When you love yourself, your life starts to change. You stop negative thoughts and have a clear mind which allows you to be fully present in every moment and then you start to see the beauty in everything. When you love yourself, no one can tell you who you are, peoples opinions won’t matter and that becomes powerful as you learn the only opinion that matters is yours.
Sometimes when we are insecure, we struggle to accept the beauty of others around us, we find ways to make others look bad so we feel a little better about ourselves. So does this not mean when people are finding ways to bring you down, it actually just means they don’t approve of themselves? Why do we give them that power?
We are all born into this world with clear minds. Over the years we are all polluted with negative thoughts and ideas that society has created. Society has painted this picture of who you are supposed to be and what you are supposed to look like, creating so much hate and negativity towards yourself. Imagine we still had those young, pure minds, without any influence. Who would you be?